I’ve written frequently about pain recently, and also mentioned that I’ve been feeling sick a lot too. To start with, my nausea was just in the mornings and would get better after I’d been up for an hour or so, but now I’m experiencing it all the time, and it’s especially bad after I eat. This means I’m not really eating much, and when I do the sickness that swarms in is sometimes manageable but is often totally overwhelming.
Right now it’s overwhelming. I’m lying on the bathroom floor with my side on the cool tiles. An anti-nausea tablet is dissolving slowly under my tongue promising a bit of relief soon.
My tics are mostly simple and repetitive, but occasionally they are specific and bathroom-related:
“Towel-rail, do you dream of raving or waving?”
“I love you, bath-mat.”
“It’s time to float toilet ducks on the stock market.”
But in the end nothing ever beats a good chat with a u-bend
“Have you got my back, u-bend?”
“U-bend, how many rules are you bending?”
“U-bend, you need to work on your posture.”
I’ve pulled myself into a sitting position with my back against the bath – in a moment I’ll lever myself up into my wheelchair and head back to bed.
The cool floor may not be the best place to rest your head, but in the moments where waves of sickness swim in my stomach it’s a welcome place of stillness and solace.